Shona Ghosh

Press were given a small room from which to observe the action, which was tricky because there were no windows. No champers or snack foods either, so mini monkey had to go scouting among the glitterati and set up camp next to the tech guys. Who gave monkey a Crunchie, which was nice.

String quartet Escala opened proceedings in a flurry of leggy blondeness, short skirts and virtuosity. Speaker Bob Satchwell was evidently rather enthralled, saying he wanted to be a cello in his next life. Cue dribbling laughter from entire room of similarly balding old men.

A bow-tied Jon Snow stepped up to begin the navel-gazing with a lot of really awful jokes. Viz: what is the capital of Iceland? (see bottom of blog)

Young journalist award went to ex-City student and Mail on Sunday reporter Tom Harper who spoke to monkey of his winning during an “industry carve up”. Naughty Tom also ‘fessed to not having his 100wpm. Monkey may not be young journalist of the year, but she pwnz your specials.

Scoop of the year also went to Mail on Sunday, for Miles Goslett’s coverage of Sachsgate. The MoS man-boy pack were less than pleased at mini monkey’s appearance, showing unmitigated disgust at the words ‘Media Guardian’ but we managed a word with editor Peter Wright: “The story just dominated the news agenda,” he enthused.

Yes, much to the dismay of monkey’s favourite nihilist Charlie Brooker. Armed with his own award for Best Columnist, he mimed bashing (Peter Wright’s head in?) and described the Sachsgate scoop as “Bullshit. A complete and utter soufflé of a story.” Monkey’s attempt at complimenting him on being better than Jeremy Clarkson was dismissed as “faint praise”. Oops. Therein followed a 10 minute whinge on the state of his vertebrae, but monkey would forgive him anything, particularly after his statement that winning was “a bad sign for humankind.” Ahhh. See Brooker being grumpy at monkey below.

Much to Media Guardian’s delight, guardian.co.uk won Best Website second year running. Digital Journalist was in the bag for Dave Hill, for his London blog. Monkey finally had the pleasure of meeting him in person, and he said he was simply bringing new technology to traditional hack techniques.

Vince Cable MP stepped up as guest speaker. He was quite banterous, for a politician.

Gillian Tett of the FT nabbed journalist of the year and peppered her acceptance speech with the word ‘geek’.  Apparently the credit crunch is good for anorak journalism. Well, you know how much I approve of that. International journalist was Mohammad Sadegh Kaboudvand, currently serving time in Tehran for his work. Sobered monkey.

Finally, the big gong went to….the Times! Refusing to indulge his ‘inner Kate Winslet’, editor James Harding accepted the award and did a runner before monkey could get to him. MoS boys no doubt tipped him off.

Big wins for MoS, Guardian with 4 awards while Times and the Mail picked up 3. Nowt for the Mirror or the Sunday Times. Or for monkey, who sloped home at 1am to get some well deserved dinner.

PS….Where’s monkey? Watch the Press Gazette video very carefully. See the lists of nominees and winners, and the Press Gazette for pics.

Thanks to Alison Battisby for the photography.